Pineapple Express

A real conversation we just had in bed....

Bobbi: I'm hungry, will you get me something?
Husband: What do you want?
Bobbi: I was thinking about opening that can of pineapple...
Husband: You don't want to do that now. It's too late.
Bobbi: Well you know what they say pineapple does to you!
Husband: Where's the can opener?


Thought I would post this convo before bed. No sex for us today, we were both just too busy and too tired.  We gotta get back on the wagon tomorrow! Cowgirl style? We both work late on Mondays so leave us some comments of encouragement.

Does pineapple really make it taste better? I'm not an experienced BJer, so we might have to do an experiment!

BS Out!
HAHAHA I'm a NERD!

Bobbi S.

Friday Night Done Right...(Almost)

My husband and I feel pressure to have sex and blog about it every night.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been enjoying the closeness and time connecting with my husband, but with a job, graduate school, church, and a very cute three-year old dog who likes to play, it’s hard to do it every night and have something blog-worthy and witty of posting to all of my followers out there…

My husband and I decided to have sex after the Bible study.  I asked for a back massage, since I had been working on a graduate paper all day and my shoulders were tense.  He said that he didn’t like giving back massages because he feels that he doesn’t do it right, and it gets “boring.”  I have offered to pay for massage lessons, but he hasn’t taken me up on the offer.  It’s funny how he gets bored giving me back massages, but never gets bored eating me out. He will do it as long as I want and as many times as I want.  Now, beggars can’t be choosers because I don’t pass that up.  So, he did this for a while and I really enjoyed it.  I came close to having an orgasm a few times last night, but lost it each time.  This is the MOST frustrating thing for me.  I hate being right there about to have an orgasm then losing it, just to start all over again.  Why does this happen?  Have we been having too much sex, so it takes longer and I’m less likely to have an orgasm?  Help, anyone?

When we’re having sex I always say, “Talk dirty to me!” But honestly neither of us ever knows what to say. But last night when I was getting close to the big O (which I’m still looking for), I told my husband of a fantasy I had of him coming home and us having sex on the kitchen table. I had never really thought of it before, but I talked about it like I had been planning it for years. I was really going into detail. I told him in the fantasy that I wanted a “pearl necklace.” In retrospect, I doubt that I would like that very much at all. Can you imagine me doing that, as grossed out as I am by semen? I’m laughing at myself right now, I sound like such a prude!

Back to last night’s sex…

My husband finished inside of me, but I didn’t really feel it.  He said he read somewhere that I should be able to feel it when he’s cumming.  I can feel him getting harder and bigger inside of me but I can’t feel anything coming out. Can you girls feel it?  The only time I know is when: 1. He tells me and: 2. I run to the bathroom to pee. Does everyone else have to pee afterward? It’s still burning when I pee and afterwards.  And, what’s up with all the goo? Yuck!  I guess I'll have to get used to it. 

Thanks for reading! I think we'll take a night off from sex tonight, (no really.) But I'll try and post something tomorrow anyway. 

Love,

Bobbi S. 

P.S. Take my poll to the right, thanks!

A night off...(maybe)

I know that it's Friday night, date night, and probably more people are having sex tonight than the rest of the week. But Bobbi Sled might not be one of them. The husband and I are going to a small group for married couples through our church. This is the first one, so we'll see how we like it. I hope we're not the youngest ones there (I'm 28 and he's 26, I know I'm a cougar!) The idea of post group sex has already been proposed, but the jury is still out...

Should we do it? Post a comment with a position we should try. If something looks like it will "strike my fancy" we'll give it a try.  I'll tweet later if we do it, and hopefully get a post up tonight about it.

Bobbi S.

Batteries not included!

If you read yesterday’s post, you may have seen a comment (my first comment ever! YAY!) that challenged us to make time for sex without the vibrator! Now we’ve had sex before without a vibe, great sex I might add, but it is usually vacation sex or hotel sex, something like that. Recently we’ve used the vibrator as a way to speed things up and get me where I’m going a bit faster. When my husband and I read the comment this morning, we decided that we’d try it tonight. Dedicate the whole night to sex, no pressure to get anything else done.

I had a dentist’s appointment this afternoon, and when I got home I found out that my husband left work early to come home and clean the house and make dinner. AMAZING! So obviously, he was on the right track. We ate dinner had a glass of wine and made our way to the bedroom. And might I add how great it felt to have sex as my #1 priority. It really has never been, until I started writing this blog.

Anyway, we started making out and undressing each other as we got on the bed.  He slid my panties off and made his way down stairs. He started going down on me, licking my clit and rubbing my lips (that part drives me wild!) With a little direction he found the perfect spot! As he kept at it, I started rubbing myself just above my clit, faster and faster, until… the big one! HUGE! All Bobbi and the husband! Batteries not included!

So my husband slid inside with no problem! We started in a position that I think is called “the Cat,”(but I hope not…I’m allergic.) Then I got on top and rode him, whipping my hair in his face. Then I spun around for the reverse cowgirl at the recommendation of a friend, I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would so I spun back around. That’s right, your little Bobbi pulled a complete 360, with nothing popping out! Watch out US Gymnastic Team! Then we rolled over and finished in the same position as we started. And guess what!?!? He finished inside me!!

I thought it was about time for me to pull off my big girl panties and let him do it! He deserved a reward for a job well done, plus I’ve been reading how much better it will feel for both of us. For me, it just felt warmer and it looked gross after I peed.  TMI? I know!  I’m pretty sure it was good for my husband, because he just laid on the bed trying to catch his breath, and said, “”Best sex EVER!” Go US!

So thanks to our first commenter! Her suggestions were VERY well received! It even sparked a discussion of “No Toy Thursday,” but “No Toy Tuesday” sounds better and won’t interfere with NBC’s Thursday night line up. 

Oh, and If you are reading this, and I know you are, will you please follow me? (I’m looking at you United Arab Emirates.) I want to read your blogs and here your comments. You never know, your suggestions might make it into my bedroom! Unless you’re creepy…

Love,

Bobbi S.

P.S. I’m on Twitter

Please Silence Your Cell Phones Before the Movie Begins…

And by “movie” I mean sex!

We were literally on our way to the bedroom to have some hot steamy blog-worthy sex…when my dad called, which almost ruined the whole show.  

I think fate wasn’t really on our side last night because my father (a widower of 6 months) called to tell me that he is starting to date again. Wonderful! And when I called to tell my sister, she told me she has known this for weeks, and just hasn’t gotten around to telling me yet. Even better! So needless to say, it was a pretty shitty movie.

This definitely delayed the screening a few hours, but the show still went on.  My husband and I really wanted to fulfill our first “assignment,” but it just didn’t start until after midnight. My good sport husband (who wished he had turned my cell phone off last night), took out my small vibrator and started using it on my clit.  I started to get myself worked up, but I pretty much decided from the get go I wasn’t going to cum, but I felt like we should still have sex.

I was laying on my stomach and my husband tried to enter me from the back, but it wasn’t happening.  I don’t know if he’s too big or I’m too tight, but that seems to happen a lot. So, I flipped over onto my back (feeling quite like a flapjack at this point) and he stood at the edge of the bed with my feet on his shoulders and he slipped inside.

During some normal “sex talk” a few words about the earlier events of the night popped out.  Which, surprisingly enough, talking about your dad’s “social life” kinda ruins the mood.  Who knew!?

Which led to my husband and I having a mini fight mid-coitus.

He pulled out, but not wanting to give up (and possibly having my own orgasm) I “persuaded” him to slide back in. When he did, it really started to burn inside. Not sure why, does this happen to anyone else?  I’d really love to know.

Well anyway, I played through the pain and told him to keep going. We were both distracted by that point and not really in the mood. But he kept pumping away and he pulled out right before he came (and did it in his hand.) Still not ready for all of that inside of me…

Even though it wasn’t great, I think I pushed through it because of the blog. (You lucky readers.)

Well better luck next time.

Bobbi S. 

My First Time

Good sex?  Great sex?  What does this mean?  This blog is a challenge for my husband and I to figure it out, try new things, and to have great sex.  As newlyweds, we still haven’t figured it out, like those movie stars portray in theaters and on TV… Movie star sex is when the woman has instant orgasms with her partner, after a rigorous romp, the woman still has every strand of hair in place and fresh makeup. Of course, this is after she has worked a 16-hour day and WANTS to have sex.  So, I’m blogging to shatter that idealistic image I have in my head and tell the truth about my sex life as a newlywed.  In no way am I a sex authority or my husband, but maybe this blog will help us feel more confident in the art of sex.  

This doesn't mean we have awful sex, we just aren't having as much as we think we should.  And, it takes more work than what we were originally led to believe.  Our normal sex routine consists of me having to masturbate to an orgasm so I am relaxed and wet enough for my husband to enter me.  I usually use a small vibrator on my clit as my husband strokes my lips and sometimes fingers me.  After I cum, he either goes inside either in a missionary position or me on top.  Snoozefest!  Even though I am on the pill, I am still afraid of getting pregnant, so I make my oh-so wonderful husband pull out each and EVERY time.   The mess that follows usually discourages cuddling.  

So, what's wrong with us?  We connect on every level and love each other very much, but when it comes to the bedroom, there's hardly any cumming at all. (P.S. Its only ever been in the bedroom.) But, I feel like it's so much work for us to get started that it's easier to not do it altogether.  Ugh! I hope that this blog will help us spice up our love life and make it easier and more fun to have sex.  

For my first assignment, we are off to have sex!  I will take notes and let you know how it is tomorrow! 

Bobbi S.